
Technical title: “Biological Science Technician”
Respectable title: “Owl Researcher”
Common title: “Hooter”
Location: Quincy USFS
Proper Job description: Work four 12-hour shifts per week. The work day begins at 17h00 and ends around 05h00, allowing the technician to see both sunset and sunrise in a single work day. A huge benefit to this kind of work. Technician must be capable of driving on mountainous roads in the area, using a compass, GPS, and topographical maps.
Improper Job description: you must be absolutely batty to do this work.
First week checklist:
– Observe spotted owl family of four from close proximity. Check
– Drink lots of coffee. Check.
– Observe family of 4 mountain lions from the safety and comfort of my truck. Check.
– Hike over mountains, cliffs, rocks and trees. NOT singing sound of music. Check.
– Take a 2 mile hike-out, call for owls, start packing up and notice the lovely eye shine and outline of a cat. Check.
– Proceed to drop anything unnecessary to the panic run. Check.
– Point radio at lurking eyes and turn squelch on high while making as much noise as possible from a 5’3″ woman. Check.
– Creep slowly away, overcoming every natural instinct to run. No time for checking anything.
– Arrive at truck.
– Pray (maybe should have done this earlier) thanks to the Maker of me and mountain trylions.
It’s true folks. There have been a number of scary moments in my life, but this definitely ranked pretty high up there. And so I end the first week of my new profession. My, oh my, what will the next 15 weeks bring….
